Posts Tagged ‘friends’
I realized that as I grew older, the people who I consider to be my best friends–or even who I would consider friends–have evolved. I didn’t realize it in all my trips back home until I had to actually live at home. That’s when I realized just how different this was all going to be from my life in Chicago.
A lot of my friends here in California, I’ve known since high school, or even elementary school. And all of our experiences in college have shaped us. It’s not necessarily a bad thing and it’s great to have friends that are different. But I think it also opened my eyes as to people I’m not quite sure I want in my life anymore.
In college, and life after college, it is definitely easier to find friends that had more similar interests and are more aligned with my values. A lot of this comes from going to a college in a state where I knew absolutely no one else before going there. It’s not like high school where you have only 4,000 kids in the school that you’re interacting with. These are campuses with 40,000 students. Spend four years there, and you can pick and choose exactly the friends that you want to keep in your life.
Coming home though, has been in many ways, a shock. My friends here are fun to hang out with, but they don’t feel like they hold as much substance. I realized that our lives are back from when we left high school and losing those four years in between when we’ve all had time to grow and develop in different ways has left an almost empty space in the friendship. It’s like a relationship that has gone on for far too long and it’s comfortable, and you know they are there for you, but it’s not exciting and just not the same.
In all my trips home, they were never for more than a week or a couple days at time. Therefore, I never really took the time to evaluate some of my friendships. What I found is that there are people in my life that if they did the things they did in college, I would have already dropped them. It’s much harder to drop these friendships, because these aren’t people that I have met for only a year or two–these are friendships that are now six, seven, or even ten+ years long. But I think there comes a time when you have to stand up for what you believe in, and friendships are sometimes just of the toxic kind and it’s better to “naturally” drift apart.
There are still a lot of friends that I would consider my close friends, just maybe not my best friends anymore. It’s a little sad to think about, but I think it happens; it might have even happened to me in Illinois if I had stayed long enough. And who knows, these are people I would love to be as close with again, and it could happen in the future still.
*Queen – “You’re My Best Friend”
You might be a big fish in a little pond, Doesn’t mean you’ve won. ‘Cause along may come a bigger one & you’ll be LOST*
It’s been a couple months since I’ve even attempted to blog so here’s a catch up of life since graduation (aka, the last year or so):
I moved into the city shortly after graduation and I completely fell in love with Lincoln Park, Chicago, and my proximity to Lake Michigan and the chance to drive along Lake Shore Drive every day. This city just makes me smile whenever I think about it and I’m not entirely sure how I’ll be able to leave it, if I ever do. I can’t explain my love for the city, it just feels like home to me, almost as much as California does. And really, I think a large part of it is the friendships I have made here. I have an incredible group of friends and I can’t wait for all of us to finally be in the same city again.
July 2009 – Jan 2010
I worked at Apple (big surprise) during this time period. I finally got the chance for my first NSO; opened the Main Place (Naperville, IL) location on August 15, 2009. It was one of the most amazing experiences I’ve had in my Apple career thus far. As close as I am with some of my old managers, I’ve never felt like we got the chance to know our management team and our team as a whole as much as through NSO. I don’t think any of us can ever forget this-especially for me, as it is my first (and only) NSO. Main Place is like my baby and I’m so amazed that it’s already been a year since we opened!
Jan 2010 – Present
Late in 2009, I got recruited by Gilly Hicks (Abercrombie & Fitch) for their manager-in-training program. Up until that point, I had really never considered leaving Apple. And looking back, it was a huge leap of faith for me to take-kinda like moving to Illinois in the first place. Apple was all I ever I would work for, but I knew I couldn’t give this opportunity up.
And I really do love my job. A lot of people go into this company probably for the wrong reasons, but I love retail; always have. Choosing visuals as my first position was hard. Not in that I didn’t want it, it was my first choice, but I also knew how challenging it could be. In the end, it was a lot harder than I even imagined because you really do need to inspire and motivate your staff to do their best for you, and for the company.
I started off at a different store, but was able to transfer (mainly because the commute was really starting to drain me-that and school). But I feel like the move has helped me in so many more ways. When you first start out, you don’t know what your management style will be, and I think the associates do kinda take advantage of that, probably not even because they mean to, it just happens. But when I transferred, I knew right off the bat what tone I wanted to set with my pti and with my models. And I think that really shows in how much more smoothly updates are run now.
However, I’m feeling so incredibly lost in/at work right now though. I don’t really feel like visuals is my role anymore because I’ve had to teach someone else the role and that meant really giving it up. It makes me feel like I don’t have a purpose at this moment in time. It’s a weird feeling because you don’t feel like you’re really helping out the store, even if you are. I don’t think it’s uncommon as you transition to your next role to feel some anxiety about it, but I just kinda wish I knew what my next role will even be. I guess I’ll find out this week!
I just really needed to LEAVE this weekend. So I went up to Milwaukee to see Albert ’cause he just moved in and started med school at MCW (soo excited for him!) and so I got to hang out with him, and guess who else was actually in town? Kelvin, Matt, Kyla! Crazy, right? And then, they actually ended up staying at my place on Saturday and I haven’t had a late night in a while (doesn’t help that most of my closest Chicago friends have been out of city/state for the past couple of weeks now!) and it was amazing to hang out with people from home, or maybe to just hang out with friends in general. Whatever it was, they made their roadtrip seem like so much fun that I ended up hopping on a plane and meeting them in NYC. Crazy idea, but I think I really needed this time to get away from the City just for a day or two. I stayed at my sister’s place, hung out with her for most of the day before getting dinner with her, Carl, Kelvin, Matt, Kyla, Zach. And then we went out for a lil bit of a low key night before Carl and I met up with Viv in KTown for pho (don’t ask, haha). It felt great to catch up with a lot of old friends. So I’m also super excited for Mike to finally come home next week and work from home and hopefully I get to go to SF for at least the Giant’s game and see the parents and everyone still in the Bay.
I don’t regret leaving Apple, as much as I miss it every single day. (It doesn’t help that my new Gilly store is RIGHT across from Apple!). But what can you do?
*Coldplay – “Lost?”